Adam's Autistic

Public Defenders

2005-06-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

While there may be good public defenders, my sons is not one that falls into this category. Late to court, never argued the prosecutions statements and basically did nothing to help my son. In the month he has represented my son, he hasn't seen my son with the exception of less than 10 minutes in court the other day.
$10,000 for an attorney, my family doesn't have that kind of money but without it, my sons life is at stake.
Innocent until proven guilty, as much as I love this country, that has to be the most useless statement in the United States.
I just heard of a case where a man spent 10 months in prison for setting his parents on fire, in the end it was found that wasn't even close to the truth. People are assumed guilty now and then you must at all costs to your retirement, home, vehicles, etc. prove your innocence, because in some cases, you are guilty just because you are a male, or female, black or hispanic, married or unmarried. It is not justice, it is an overworked legal system that only cares about doing as little as they can for as many as they can without caring about the outcome.

Update on Adam

2005-06-24T18:50:00.000-07:00

Dad and I were able to see Adam this past Tuesday. He is looking haggard, but told us he is trying very hard to stay strong. He is reading the Bible, attending chapel when he can, doing a Bible study and as his cell mates say, staying in his room to much. To me, that is a good thing.

Prior to our visit Tuesday there was some type of racial problem between two groups of people. One wanted another to spend his money and buy him food, when the guy refused, a fight ensued and Adams cell mate ran into the cell and told him no matter what, to stay in his bunk! I am thankful for this man who seems to want to keep Adam safe.

Yesterday, I went for my regular Thursday visit. All I was told by the jailer is that the entire section was in lockdown until Tuesday. That means no phone calls, no mail in or out and no visits and more than likely, it means staying in a small cell 24 hours a day.

I heard from several family members in the visitation area that the section Adam was in became involved in a huge race riot Tuesday night and it got pretty nasty. All they knew is that one of the new people in the section decided to start a riot. Why do people do this? Don't they know they have no other freedom at this time but to get along?

I am terrified. I don't know if Adam was hurt, involved, sleeping or whatever and I don't know how this will affect his court date on Tuesday. Tuesday we are to find out if they will lower his bond, release him to a third party or let him come home to await trial. His girlfriend is out walking free on the same charges, why can't he do the same? I do not understand the justice system sometimes.

I have all the things to begin my first 2 quilts to help pay for Adam's bills that are getting further and further behind. If anyone is interested, they will be approximately crib size, perhaps a bit larger and I can add loops to hang it on the wall. I will have pictures when they are done and I am going to ask $40 each.

Adams public defender that spoke with me weeks ago made himself out to be so much different than all the rest of the people in his office. He is not! He hasn't returned any of my calls though he has Adams Power of Attorney giving him permission to speak with me. He hasn't seen Adam though he promised for 2 weeks he would. He hasn't told us about Adams court date on Tuesday, I found that out from Adam. He requested us to get letters on Adams behalf for the judge, but has not let me know when those are to be presented. He has been a huge disappointment.

We are praying for a miracle with a private attorney and asking God to provide someone who will take Adams case Pro Bono. We just don't have $10-$30,000 plus an additional $2000 per court day. Of course, I am not beyond begging and pleading that if anyone wants to help this young man, I will gladly take any donations you might have to offer.

It is 117 in Arizona, the air conditioning is out in the jail, they only get fed twice a day and the food is pretty bad. That is why they are having riots. People that are in the jail and have yet to be proven guilty get treated like they are guilty.

I know, many of you will tell me it is about time criminals get treated like criminals, but there comes a time when the local sheriff needs to treat humans with some dignity. After all, he has taken on dogs and cats into his jails now and his jailers are now animal jailers. The animals have air conditioned cells, they are fed well and treated well. Do people rank lower than animals? In this mans eyes, YES!!

Off my soapbox now. Thanks for reading my story, thank you for the prayers.

Another arrest

2005-06-04T00:29:00.000-07:00

Well, you can tell you live in a small neighborhood when the local convenience store clerk tells you about an arrest.

Seems Sara was arrested yesterday and while maybe I should be happy about this, all I keep thinking is how many officers does it take to arrest a 21 year old female that to the best of my knowledge has no prior criminal record, doesn't have any weapons in her home and isn't a risk to officers?

I was told there were at least 15 cars surrounding her home and the neighbors. Does anyone else think this is overkill? Even warrant task forces usually use only 2-3 officers to pick up a suspect. Of course if that person is accused of killing someone or has weapons and is aggressive, that is another thing, but we are talking about a girl that has I don't think been in trouble before.

Something else thats a bit perplexing is that there is no information available on this girl. No initial appearance, no bond, no jail information which makes me think the court let her out on her own recognizance and I would have to question this since Adam still remains in jail on the same counts she has against her.

Could it be because he is a male? He was told numerous times he is guilty simply because he is the boyfriend. Does this mean our courts are biased or practicing discrimination against the male? What happened to equal justice? Am I missing something here?

I wouldn't leave the United States for anything. Not only is it my home, but my dad, husband, best friend all fought to protect our freedoms and rights and one of my high school friends died giving us the freedoms we have. It is a great country and I believe in the United States Constitution and our democracy, but I surely am confused about the court system during this process.

I guess that is why attorneys get paid the money they do, because they understand it much better than I do. Maybe when all of this is over, I will also have a better understanding of how bail is set, who sets it, why some people get out to walk free and others are sent to jail to waith their time out.

To think, in 2000 I had an opportunity to go to law school and turned it down to get a degree in HR. What was I thinking??

adams milestones

2005-06-02T22:49:00.000-07:00

I was just sitting here and thinking of the many milestones that my son has overcome in his life and wonder how many of us can say the same thing?

When he was two years old and diagnosed with Apraxia, the therapist told my husband and I not to expect to much out of him. He probably would never talk, would never be potty trained (God, can you imagine having to change diapers at 21?), He wouldn't be in a regular school, etc.

That day he went home, took off his diaper, used the toilet and never looked back. It was as if he was letting us all know, I may not be able to talk, but darn it, I can sure understand what everyone is saying about me and I'm going to prove you all wrong.

He had a speech therapist to teach him sign language and the spoken word and he would use his signing in class, but once home, he refused. Why not? He had an older brother that did his talking for him and knew what every grunt and groan meant. Then came the fateful day when the therapist told his brother if he didn't interpret for us, she would give him a sucker every time she came over.

I don't know at that time who was more frustrated, us or Adam, but his brother wasn't going to miss the chance at his sucker, so he would just roll his eyes and walk away when asked to help. Shortly after this began, Adam began to use his signing more often and began putting more words out.

Still, if he couldn't get his point across, he would either do it himself or throw a tantrum. Imagine waking up to the smell of fire in your house and to find a 3 year old on the counter in the kitchen making his own breakfast. Yep, a pan of water and an entire box of Chocolate Maypo cereal all over the stove. No fire, just burning Maypo. He was hungry and I think he felt he could take care of himself.

There was the time his therapist came over and told us she just saw a little boy riding a bike down the street, she thought he looked just like Adam, but since he couldn't possibly be riding a bicycle at 3 years old without training wheels with his condition. It was Adam and even funnier, the damn bike had a pedal missing and he rode it like a champ. He didn't know it was broke and more over, he didn't know he wasn't supposed to be riding it.

You see, with Adam, we didn't treat him like he was any different than the other children in our home. If he was good he got praised, if he was bad he got punished, if he acted out of line he got wrapped tightly in a blanket and rocked until he calmed down, he got an allowance for doing his chores, he went where we went.

The only difference was that he couldn't talk. One day I was out in the yard and one of the neighbor kids came by and asked why we moved from France. France I repeated. The young lad told me that Adams brothers told him the reason none of the neighbors could understand him was that we lived in France when Adam was born and all he could speak was French.

What a novel idea. To protect their brother from taunts, the kids came up with a plan that worked and the other kids thought it was great and worked hard to help teach him English. See, kids really are amazing and innovative.

Adam has always loved music, so when he could be in band, he took up drums. Within weeks, he had them mastered. At the age of 11 he was on an outing with his dad that is a big biker event and had a band. During a break Adam asked the band if he could practice with their drums. The drummer tossed him a set of sticks and said laughingly, 'sure kid, just don't break anything.'

Several minutes of his playing and the drummer got on stage and told the entire audience, I thought the kid was joking, but he can play. Adam got to play 2 songs with the band.

In high school band he was the Cymbals leader for 2 years running, but one year he and the drum leader didn't see eye to eye and Adam quit. No amount of talking to him would get him to go back. He was done and that was it. Now, he works diligently when he is home to teach the babies how to play the drums.

His first year of high school he made the Honor roll. We were so proud of him. His teachers all loved him and after that it went downhill. He had a teacher who told us he was a drug addict and I called a meeting between this teacher, the principal and his special education teachers. It was a long meeting and one where the principal decided to tell me she would have him removed from his classes. I told her fine, but since she was making this decision it must mean the school district had deep pockets because they were responsible for his education under federal guidelines and his transportation and if they kicked him out, I was going to make sure he went to the most exclusive private school I could find.

Of course she said I couldn't do that and his special education teachers told her, she had better think again, because not only could I but they would help me do it. Adam remained in school.
It took him 7 years to graduate from high school, but he did and did it on his own. His teachers were so impressed, they had a story of him printed up in the local paper.

There are so many stories I could tell, how Adam has had to adjust in our world and try to fit in and done such a great job. Ask me questions, I will tell you! Adam is a great kid!

Literal thinking

2005-05-31T23:06:00.000-07:00

People with Aspergers do have problems with language and understanding things we 'normal' people take for granted.

If you tell a person with AS that it is raining cats and dogs, you understand it to mean raining very hard, they are going to want to see the cats and dogs. If you tell them something you are carrying feels like a ton of bricks, they want to know how you would know how heavy that is.

I like to say people with AS think in black and white, yes and no's because with my son there is never a gray area in his life. He must get a yes or no, a maybe leaves him coming back time and time again for more explanation of what that maybe could mean.

My son is methodical about his money and paying his bills. He will figure out how much he needs and take his paycheck to the bank and tell the teller....I need 2 fifties, 4 twenties, 1 ten, 22 ones, 3 quarters, 3 dimes and 7 pennies. Because he has taken what he owes and figured out what each bill requires.

Change? He hates carrying change in his pocket, it is heavy, makes to much noise and confuses him and yet he can count change to you without thinking about it. He used to bring his dad or eye, handfuls of change and ask if we had a 5 or 10 for it because he couldn't keep very good track of it as change.

He has a great sense of humor, when you get used to it. But until then, many people are offended by his humor because it is more serious sounding then it really is.

Making friends is hard because people with AS are very honest and blunt something many of us say we can handle but really don't want.

Heaped on Blessings

2005-05-31T22:53:00.000-07:00

Well, today life is somewhat good again. No, it is great!! Our sons charges while serious were not as serious as we were originally told they were and while the accusations are deplorable, he has a chance to fight these charges easier than the originally stated charges.

Also, his public defender is a man of honor and integrity and the first thing he wants to do is get my son out of jail, get him back to work and build up a rapport with him so he can find out what happened. He also understands and knows about Autism and Aspergers Syndrome.

My son is having horrible dreams he told his father today that he can't find his girlfriend and everyone keeps telling him she is standing in front of him but he can't see her. His dad told him he can't see her because his mind is protecting him from the truth that she doesn't care about him. Kind of harsh for dad, but it is true. His girlfriend has moved onto someone else that can support her lifestyle that she can't afford without someones help.

God has been good to us this day, he has lifted a burden off our shoulders and heart and given us hope that our son will get out of jail and be able to get a job until this all goes to court.

I wish I could convince him that he needs to give up on HER, as she used him and then tossed him away for someone else. She tossed her daughter away as soon as they took her away. This girl never agonized over the loss of her child and was having and still is having a great time running free without a child. She tells everyone she knows she doesn't think she wants this child back & yet...

My son who is not this childs father, agonizes over her and cries because he doesn't know how she is doing and worries if she is being fed enough, sleeping well, being given love and he dreams about playing with her and taking care of her.

Funny, many people believe that people with Autism are incapable of love or can only care about themselves, but with my son I have seen him love and care so much it has landed him in jail.

My sons life is in jeopardy...

2005-05-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

If my son wasn't in jeopardy in jail because of his disability, he is seriously needing to get out of there now and if anyone knows how to reach a public defender in Maricopa County and ask for help, I would appreciate knowing this.

They moved him to a cell with gang members that want to kill him just because he is white. He is the only white person in the pod with these people. How did this happen? I asked him and he said he doesn't know. They moved him last night and he was doing as well as anyone can while waiting patiently for his parents to raise money we don't have.

I have said it once and I will say it again. If you are a hard working family or poor, you will not have a chance in helping a family member in jail because attorneys and bond cost more money than most of us have in a life of savings.

Please, to anyone who reads this, say a prayer for my son's safety. I am so scared he will be killed and no one will even let us know.

What is Aspergers Syndrome?

2005-05-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

Aspergers Syndrome is often times called 'high-functioning' Autism. People with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome look just like 'normal,' people. I do not use that term lightly but over the years I have had people look at my son and make snap judgements that all he needs is a good spanking and he would be fine.

I am sure I am like many parents who at times wished there was a look of Autism as there is for someone with Downs Syndrome or any other disease or disability that people accept readily. But Autism is different because people judge others on the way they look and without really knowing the truth.

Many years ago when Adam would have fits and couldn't speak yet, it was not uncommon for neighbors to come into our home to see what was going on and why this child was screaming in a fit of rage. I even begged one parent to take him home with her since she thought she was such an expert on raising children. I bet another parent my entire pay check that she would take him home and bring him back within an hour...No, of course she didn't take me up on it.

Then there was the neighbor who stalked our home at night because he was sure we were being abusive to our son and he was going to catch us in the act. Well, one day, Adam was playing in the front yard and while the guy was in his yard, Adam threw a fit. I hollered over the fence to him 'come on smart guy, you think you know so much, come calm this down, you are such an expert in child abuse, what do you think now?' He walked in his house and he never stalked the yard again.

What is Aspergers Syndrome??

Here is an explanation much better than what I could describe it as:

Asperger Syndrome or (Asperger's Disorder) is a neurobiological disorder named for a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, who in 1944 published a paper which described a pattern of behaviors in several young boys who had normal intelligence and language development, but who also exhibited autistic-like behaviors and marked deficiencies in social and communication skills. In spite of the publication of his paper in the 1940's, it wasn't until 1994 that Asperger Syndrome was added to the DSM IV and only in the past few years has AS been recognized by professionals and parents.
Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of "improper parenting".
By definition, those with AS have a normal IQ and many individuals (although not all), exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naiveté, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying. While language development seems, on the surface, normal, individuals with AS often have deficits in pragmatics and prosody. Vocabularies may be extraordinarily rich and some children sound like "little professors." However, persons with AS can be extremely literal and have difficulty using language in a social context.
At this time there is a great deal of debate as to exactly where AS fits. It is presently described as an autism spectrum disorder and Uta Frith, in her book AUTISM AND ASPERGER'S SYNDROME, described AS individuals as "having a dash of Autism". Some professionals feel that AS is the same as High Functioning Autism, while others feel that it is better described as a Nonverbal Learning Disability. AS shares many of the characteristics of PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder; Not otherwise specified), HFA, and NLD and because it was virtually unknown until a few years ago, many individuals either received an incorrect diagnosis or remained undiagnosed. For example, it is not at all uncommon for a child who was initially diagnosed with ADD or ADHD be re-diagnosed with AS. In addition, some individuals who were originally diagnosed with HFA or PDD-NOS are now being given the AS diagnosis and many individuals have a dual diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome and High Functioning Autism.
(Kirby,Barbara. 'The Oasis Guide to Aspergers Syndrome.' Retrieved from the World Wide Web @ http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/. 28 May 2005).

Adam has Aspergers Syndrome, ADD & PDD-NOS. Adam is very set in his ways and you can't change his mind when he has it made up. Hence, Adam is where he is because he wanted to protect his girlfriend.

Well, we did find out the investigation and grand jury indictment are public record, so I will go and get copies of those and perhaps it will shed some light on what is going on.

This is justice?

2005-05-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

It cost me $35 today for an attorney to tell me what I already knew...if you are working class you accept whatever unjustice there is that comes your way.

Actually, the attorney I spoke with was very good, but he told me they need $9,000 up front and in 90 days another $11,000 for a total of $20,000 and that by the way doesn't include the $2000 per day trial fee it will cost should it go to trial. Is there anyone out there willing to pick a couple of one hundred dollar bills off their money tree?

I am not being flip about this really. It is killing me to know I can't afford to pay for my son to have a great attorney and that we will have to rely on a public defender that probably is overworked, burnt out and just doesn't care.

What really bothers me is that the good attorney told me any type of a plea agreement will include prison time. No one wants this to go to trial he told me and many people are in prison on plea agreements from fear.

I am still trusting God in this matter that He will find us the person we need that will be diligent in looking for the truth and not just closing the case.

Here I am believing in the justice system and finally finding out what so many people already know, the only justice their is in our system is for the people that have the money to pay for it.

My son will die before this is over, as much as it tears my heart apart to say that, I know deep down in my heart this young man that was such a bright spot in everyones life, will end his own life rather than admit the person he loves did something wrong.

Oh, I don't really know that do I? There is still the unknown question about the daycare provider and why it took over 4 hours for them to report this and why no one is looking at them as suspects.

The Early Years

2005-05-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

So, now I am off my soap box for awhile with Adam being in jail (that can change tomorrow).

Adam was born several days prior to 1984 and he was always the odd one out. I don't say that maliciously, I say it with truth. While all my children weighed in at birth between 9 1/2 and 11 pounds, Adam weighed 8#2oz. While all the others were bald blondes, Adam had this incredible head of jet black thick hair. I remember when I first saw him, I told the Dr. that he switched babies on me.

Adam was the only baby I had ever had that had jaundice and came home yellow and we had to leave him on a bed in the sunlight for several hours a day. He also slept all night and didn't want to nurse or take a bottle. Adam was content in taking an ounce or two and sleeping for 8-10 hours.

At 11 days old, Adam began having grand mal seizures and had 10 prior to getting him to the hospital. His dad was stationed in another state and in the process of securing a place for us to live so when I called the ship, he wasn't there. Thank God, that he had taken several of his ship mates to see the place and one of them went and delivered the news.

He had several more seizures while in the hospital and then without explanation, they stopped. They just couldn't find out why he had seizures and he has never had them since. He endured EEG's at 3 mos., 6 mos., 1 year, 2 years and 3 years and nothing showed up.

What we did notice was that when Adam was awake, he just laid around. He didn't move or kick his feet or wave his hands, he would lay so still we had to make sure he was breathing. He developed like a normal child, he crawled, lifted his head up, smiled and walked just like any other toddler.

While quiet, he did say dada, mama, bye. Then without an explanation after his first birthday, Adam quit talking and began throwing the worst tantrums I had ever seen. He would throw a fit and then fall back on our tile floors and hit his head and trust me, if he didn't hit his head the first time, he would do it again until he did.

We put rugs and pillows all over trying to protect him, but he knew where they were and aimed for the floor.

Other than his fits, he was happy. He played outside with his brothers and had fun exploring the beach and the zoo when we went.

A trip to the Dr. and they determined that he might be deaf. So off to UCLB for a special series of hearing tests...no, he could hear.

At the age of 2 he was referred to Easter Seals Early Intervention program and thats when we heard about Apraxia and we were told he had Severe Apraxia. A condition in which he could hear but no one knew what or how much he heard and how his brain processed it.

I asked about Autism and was told no. He went to special schools that taught him how to talk in sign language (that was fun because his dad was out of town for 4 months and when he came back, he had no clue how to talk to Adam, thankfully, he caught on fast.)

He was going through speech, occupational and physical therapy and during all of this, he still threw the most horrible fits. It was so bad, that neighbors would just walk into our home to see if we were beating him. Usually, everyone was in one room and Adam in another. We learned to let him toss his fits.

Adam didn't sleep at night, he would be awake for what appeared to be days on end with little or no sleep and all we could do was place his toys, blanket and pillow in our room with a night light and let him play until he went to sleep. We also had locks on the doors so he couldn't get out of our room or the house.

His first word was at 4 years of age (yes, I said above he was talking, but he quit) and that took a miracle of patience... we were walking by a fountain and he said water! Since then, the boy hasn't been quiet too much of his life.

More to come on his life..

Jail stories

2005-05-25T00:51:00.000-07:00

wow! You can learn a lot hanging around the waiting room for visitation. I thought I was pretty smart as a general rule of thumb, but I didn't realize that justice wasn't about finding a person guilty or innocent, it is about politics and bonuses.

I have heard over and over again as I was visiting that if a proscecutor gets you take the first plea agreement they get a huge bonus and so they do their best to scare you into taking whatever they throw out on the table. This gives them brownie points I guess for settling another case and getting the case off the court books and of course it helps with the amount of money they bring home in their paycheck.

Does anyone know if this is true? I don't know if it is true of if it is just people talking, but all in all it makes sense to me. How horrible to have a job where you decide the fate of someones life by the amount of money you will get paid. Maybe all those bad lawyer jokes are true after all.

I am already learning what proscecutor names bring fear into peoples minds. I am praying that God will find us an attorney that will still take this case pro bono or at lease at a reduction of fees. Taking names and numbers people if anyone knows of anyone.

For that matter, maybe a good law student or investigator could help with my sons case.

I have also heard the longer they take on a plea or hold out on court, the harder it gets for them as well as if we do get him out on bond, the attorney generals office will find a way to stack more charges against him. Is this true? I am asking anyone...law student, attorney, etc.

Over Medicated

2005-05-25T00:26:00.000-07:00

Another morning spent at the county jail waiting to get in to see my son for whatever few precious moments they will allow us to have. Today, his dad got to go with me and I know he really appreciated the new face.

He looked really bad today. He was drooling, he could hardly speak his speech was so slurred and he kept nodding off. I asked him about his medication and he told me they had changed one to a lower dose but the one he has been taking once a day, they increased the dosage and they are giving it to him 3 times a day. This is a medication he has only ever taken once a day. He also told me they have him on a new medication but he didn't know what.

I am at a loss as what to do. For the first time in my sons life I can't seem to help him because all roads to get help at the jail are shut off. The guards at the desk can't help or don't want to and I can't blame them. They have so many people screaming at them all day long, why do they want to hear about my son?

My son is not an animal and I feel right now like they are treating him like a guinea pig and giving him whatever medication they want to give him at however many times a day they feel like it.

They are robbing the life out of my son!

Everyday I run into people who know him, everyday we get phone calls asking us if the news is true and begging us to not say it is. People, my son is admired and loved by everyone and no one believes what is going on. It is very important to understand this can happen to anyone of us. My God! Look around you, people are accusing 4 year olds of molesting other children and yet, a small child doesn't know what they are doing. We are arresting 5 year olds for kissing other 5 year olds and this is what we want our world to be like?

My son's real crime in this was to fall in love with a girl who only wanted to use him until she used him up? Don't believe me? Yesterday in court she actually introduced her new boyfriend to my husband and thought he should shake his hand!! She has run his cell phone bill up to over $400 while he was in jail and has no intention of paying the bill, yet she doesn't feel she should give him back his washer, dryer, couch or anything else he paid for.

Seeing my son today reminded me of those old movies where mental patients walked around with their heads down waiting for death to come, because death has to be better than living in an insane asylum or even jail.

Tomorrow, I will try to reach someone, try to find out what medications he is on, try to talk to his Dr. about this and see what can be done, but tonight, I will continue my prayer vigil and ask God to protect him while he is in jail.

Public Defender

2005-05-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

Today, I contacted the Public Defenders office and was told Adam will have an attorney present on his hearing date this week, however the real attorney will not even be assigned to him until sometime in mid-June. This is how the justice system works? He gets an attorney to represent him, but no one will know of his Autism when he see's the judge?

I know the court system is overloaded, I know the attorney offices are overloaded, but what happened to knowing your client? If no one knows about Adam's Autism how are we going to be able to let the judge know he has difficulty understanding what he is being told? How are we going to be able to speak with his attorney and find out what is going on?

This is all about time and money and your lot in life. If you have the money to pay for an attorney you get full benefit of the justice system and if you need a public defender, you take what you get when you can get it.

How many times in this past week I have gone through my mind trying to find out what I did wrong, how this has happened and how it is I live paycheck to paycheck and can't help my own child.

Just as God had to let Jesus endure the cross for us, I must allow Adam to go through what he is because I can't afford to do anything else put pray.

My First Jail Visit

2005-05-22T14:04:00.000-07:00

I wanted up early today so I could see Adam and hopefully get in before a long line. It didn't work that way so I waited for 3 hours. I met another mom whose son was arrested at the same time however, they have been going through the legal end of this for over a year. I told her I would pray for her and her family and we didn't discuss why our sons were in jail.

She asked me if it was hard on me, I told her yes, but I have faith in Jesus Christ and He is surrounding me with peace and prayers. Last night my granddaughter (4) told me that Jesus told her her uncle had angels around him and he was going to be safe. Those exact words. I hugged her and somehow managed to not fall apart.

I am thankful for one of the jail inmates who heard my sons name called for visitation and woke him up or I would have missed his visit.

I don't sing well, but when they closed the door with a slamming that was so loud it pierced my heart, I began to fall apart and then started out loud singing 'Amazing Grace,' I was able to visit without tears and asked Adam to not fall apart when it was over. I also told him to watch for me when they took them back to his cell & I flashed him I love You with sign language, he smiled.

He is hungry. The food is bad and he won't eat anything but the bread and fruit. Someone has taught him how to trade, so he traded a toothbrush the other day for an extra orange. He wants money on his books, but it will go fast...a $2 radio cost $31, a can of soda is $1.50.

Today I am thankful for his Autism as it has taught him many things and one of those things is no matter who or what you are, Adam doesn't care. The first meal he had in jail he took a seat and was told that he couldn't sit where he was...the Hispanics sat there. Adam's reply was 'I don't give a f*** who sits here, no one was sitting here when I got here, I'm hungry and I don't care if you are black, white or hispanic, we are all in this place together 24 hours a day and who knows for how long, so we have to get along with each other. I'm not racist on the outside and I am not going to be a racist in here.'

Many of the inmates told him they realized how much smarter he was then the rest of them. He says he sleeps, wanders around between everyone and trys to keep busy.

Seeing him handcuffed to the table broke my heart, but I know it is better to keep them from being tempted on touching the visitor. He did tell me the guards only put the cuffs on tight enough to keep them from getting out, so he was okay with the fact they weren't cranked down.

He wants to come home, we discussed how hard we are all trying and the fact that I have been told each time he sees a judge he has the possibility of getting his bond reduced even lower. He seemed to understand that.

No one can imagine the hurt seeing their son in jail, in cuffs and knowing he can't see the light of day (maybe thats better at 113 degree's right now) but the worst thing I heard was that the only water they have to drink is from the toilet. Is that how low we as humans have come, to reduce people that have only been accused of a crime not proven guilty to drink water out of a toilet bowl???

Today, I tell you all. Love your family and protect them because you never know when the star of your life will disappear and sadness will take over you so hard, you can't breathe at times. Love them because they are part of you and until you are in the position of being in the jury to judge a persons crime or know that person is actually guilty...pray for them and give them the benefit of the doubt, because I am here to say while we have the best justice system in the world, while our country is free and we are free...you are not innocent until proven guilty, you are guilty until you can prove yourself innocent.

How many people are getting out of prison after years of incarceration because of DNA evidence?

Live is fragile, treat it carefully and pray!!

Quilts for Adam

2005-05-21T13:16:00.000-07:00

I am going to be making some quilts for Adams defense or bail fund. If anyone feels the need in their heart to help me with supplies, I will gladly accept...4" squares, bandana's, etc. as well as solid color new sheets in all sizes, batting and thread.

I have made 4 quilts in my life and am currently working on a 5th. My best yet was the one I did for our bed with a Harley theme and the American Flag in the middle. Don't get upset anyone, it wasn't the real flag, I took 4 bandanas and made them the center of the quilt.

Then again, the John Deere theme I worked on for the Victory Junction Gang Camp came out cool and was it ever sweet to be able to personally hand it over to Kyle Petty. I had made one the year before in tie dye print and gave it to the Petty Racing PR team.

I can quilt and sell the quilts for Adam. Good idea or bad?? I think good right now.

Without Adam

2005-05-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

I really miss Adam this morning, the house seems so empty without his corny jokes and chasing the grandbabies around the house, but I am confident in the Lord Jesus Christ that all the prayers and fasting that is going on around the world for him will bring him home.

I have really had to learn this week to TRUST in God and ask for His guidance and peace in this matter or I wouldn't have been able to go to work or function. Well, my house is a mess and I don't know how many times the dog has come up to me begging for food in her dish.

Adam loves our dog and has always been the one to feed her and take her to the groomer for her nail clippings. Adam even takes her out in the car for rides because he said she needs to get out more and gets bored. Funny, I know he really is talking about him, but he takes the dog everywhere.

I worry about that old dog, she is almost 13 now and if she would die while he was in jail I am not sure what he would do. Strange the things I think about now that he isn't home.

I talked to him yesterday and told him to stay strong and pray for himself and the truth will be revealed in this mess.

To anyone reading this, I know you don't know my son, but he is gentle and has a huge heart in spite of his disability and people telling us over the years he can't feel love, but in his own way, he does and I can see it. Please, if you believe in God, say a prayer for my son Adam.

I would love to ask everyone to send money so we can start a get Adam out of jail fund, but you don't know me and to many scams in todays world with bad tastes left in peoples mouths that I don't have the heart to ask. I will ask if anyone knows a great attorney in the Phoenix area that might be willing to work Pro Bono that you have him contact me.

Gotta go people, I have to keep busy and writing makes me very depressed right now & makes me miss him so much!!!

Adam's Bond

2005-05-20T22:47:00.000-07:00

I guess no one feels the pain as much as a mother when she is told her child has a disability, but when your child and no matter how old they are, they are always a child to a mother goes to jail you are suddenly finding yourself crying at the most inopportune times.

Adams bond was originally $500,000 which I find confusing. Does anyone understand the way a bond is set? I know, I don't. The judge reduced it to $18,000 but needing $1800 cash and $18,000 in collaterol...well the judge may as well have left it at $500,000.

My son has been charged with 2 counts felonies that we know he will be exonerated or found not guilty of. You see, I am a snoop and I found letters in his room he wrote telling Sarah she knows the truth about what happened and that he has lied to protect her because he loves her.

She on the other hand has moved on ratherly quickly to someone else that can pay her rent and she nicely left him with a cell phone bill of over $400 and refuses to let him or us or whomever pick up his washer, dryer and other things he paid for. The sale of the washer and dryer and furniture he bought would at least help pay his phone bill.

While he took care of the baby that he is accused of hurting by providing her food, diapers, a heater when the house heater went out and her mother refused to call the landlord, all she cared about was herself.

My son took care of that child while mom went running around with friends, got her nails done and has never shed a tear over the authorities taking this child. Neither did she go to counseling classes as instructed or anything else they told her to do.

Adam begged to go to counseling, he begged to see this child and he became more and more withdrawn. He talked about how much he took care of her when her mother wouldn't, how much he missed her and loves her like his own.

While he did lie to the detectives about what happened and to be honest with anyone, I don't know the true story as both Adam and Sarah lied, the difference is, Adam talked to the police and lied to keep Sarah out of trouble. On the other hand, Sarah got a court appointed attorney to help her and hasn't talked to the detective except once.

While Sarah was doing what she wanted to, Adam was being told he is simply guilty because he is the boyfriend. So, this is how justice is served?

I sent out over fifty letters begging for someone to take his case on Pro Bono (that means free), but no one will. After all, child abuse is a nasty subject and no one wants to help the poor Autistic kid who hurt a child.

I wish if anyone reads this, they would understand Adam pukes when he has to kill a bug, he has taken care of nieces and nephews in the past and never hurt any of them, why would he start now?

Which brings me to his $18,000 bond and someone else is jail with the same charges plus added drug charges has a $5000 bond. Explain this to me? My son has never been in trouble, is not a flight risk and he can't come home & yet some repeat offender with a drug habit can get a slap on the hand for the same thing.

I am tired and need to go to bed. To much on my mind!

2005-05-19T01:01:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I decided tonight to start a Blog. Heck, I hardly even know what one is or why someone would read what someone else has to say, but maybe tonight I feel I owe telling someone about my son Adam and maybe I will feel better. But, don't count on it.

Adam is 21 years old and has Aspergers Syndrome, a high functioning type of Autism. Out of all 4 of my sons, Adam is the only one with a high school diploma, his own credit cards and one of the most upbeat people you would want to meet. Yet, he does have Autism and that creates many difficulties for him in trying to understand the world in which he has lived for 21 years.

Tonight, my heart is broken and I cry. Adam is in jail and not any jail, but Sheriff Joe Arpaio's jail in Phoenix and he is alone and terrified and confused and has called home six times in tears. Strange, in all of his 21 years, I haven't seen Adam cry. I have seen him lash out in anger with words that could cut through you like a knife, I have seen him methodically go through the house slamming all the doors because he knows I can't stand it when he slams doors and I have seen him take off in his car squeeling tires because he knows I can't stand that either.

Now, I would give anything to have him home slamming doors and yelling about some little thing that ticked him off that most of us couldn't be bothered with.

Adam is in jail because Adam feel in love with a girl who used love to get him to lie and protect her when she is the one who should be in jail.

This nightmare started 8 months ago when Adam took on a second job...you see, because of his Aspergers Syndrome, Adam can't stand to sit around all the time, so he took on a second job at a conveinence store and there he met Sarah. Within weeks, he was visiting with Sarah until early morning hours, giving her money for gas in her car, diapers for her baby, food, etc.

When he wasn't giving her money, he was cleaning her house because her and her sisters didn't do it and Adam couldn't stand the thought that a small child was living in filth. So, Adam would go over and clean her house.

Before we knew it, Adam had begun moving his things into Sarah's house and dealing with her sisters problems and soon it was apparent that Sarah was calling all the shots!